connections

Have you ever noticed that a lot of things in life- and in the gospel- come in twos?

And have you ever noticed how those things connect?

Even things that aren’t supposed to connect, connect.

Let’s start with a simple example. Take Red and Blue. Two drastically different colors- one representing heat, passion, intensity, while the other represents coolness, calm, serenity. One might think that these colors could never go together. And yet when you mix them, you get Purple- a beautiful color that can only be made when you mix these two strikingly different shades. Purple, a color that represents spirituality, royalty, peace- the colors of Heaven.

On a deeper level, let’s take Man and Woman. These human beings are biologically and spiritually designed to be different- so different, that many today believe they were never meant to go together. But without just one of them, human life could never exist. It is only with both Man and Woman that the act of procreation can be had, and that children can come into the world, and Earth’s destiny can continue to press forward.

Within the human body, what about the Heart and the Brain? One can think, feel, and observe the entire world around us, while the other works overtime to pump blood to every corner of the body (though many associate the latter as the feeling organ between the two). But the Brain cannot complete a single connection or signal without oxygen-rich blood pumped into its vessels, and the Heart cannot pump a single time without electrical impulses from the brain telling it to do so. Both need each other to operate properly, and keep the human they reside in alive.

While on the topic of the heart, let’s talk about blood. Sorry, not trying to get morbid here, but there is a connection I can make. When the Savior first instituted the sacrament, He said that the wine (or water, now) represented His blood, and the bread represented His body. Both were reminders of the sacrifices He made for all of mankind.

One may think there is absolutely no connection between Bread and Blood, but I can see sacredness and symbolism in each.

Bread has been regarded as sacred in scripture since the dawn of time. Bread is a basic fuel for our bodies, who are entirely dependent on the food we eat to keep us healthy and, well, alive. And the bread itself is a combination of all four elements- heat from an oven, air within causing it to rise, flour from the earth, and water itself holding it all together. Bread, in both the process of making it and eating it, is an apt tool for summing up the most basic human experience. We need fuel, connection, and life- in all elemental forms- to thrive. No wonder it was so relevant for the Savior to refer to Himself as “the Bread of Life.”

Now, blood. It may seem…gross…to some of us, but blood is just our life force that keeps our fragile bodies upright day-to-day. Pumped from our hearts, arguably the hardest-working organ in our bodies (tied with the brain), blood carries vital oxygen, nutrients, and virus-fighting cells to every corner of our bodies. Blood paves the road for our small ecosystems to thrive, and sends strength to each muscle and bone, and allows me to type this entry right now. Think about it: whatever the cause of your death, be it illness, a freak accident, or spontaneously having your arm pop off (hey, it could happen), every single person’s ultimate demise is losing access to our vital life source, be it a cause of bleeding out or our hearts stop beating entirely. Blood is what makes us, well, alive. There’s a reason seeing it is gross- because you’re not supposed to see it! You need it inside your body to live.

So, how do Bread and Blood correlate? Well, if we didn’t have just one, we’d die. Even if we were perfectly healthy and our hearts worked just fine, if we didn’t have access to anything to eat, it wouldn’t matter- we’d die of starvation. And even if we were perfectly prosperous and had all the food one could ask for, if our heartbeats were stopped, none of that would matter, because we’d die of no access to blood. Both are essential to our physical survival.

But they also connect to our spiritual survival, too. We need both bread and water- emblems representing Christ’s body and blood- for the ordinance of the sacrament each week. Christ couldn’t just die without also suffering for our sins and afflictions in Gethsemane, and He couldn’t just suffer and then not die. He had the power to do either of these things, but He knew the Father’s will was to have His children saved from both physical and spiritual death. Both the physical and spiritual parts of His children’s lives were equally important. One could not exist without the other in the Plan.

And so we come to the final connection- between Body and Spirit.

All things go back to where they came from when they die. Plants decompose. Birds fall back to the ground. All of us will have our bodies returned to the Earth in one way or another when we die, for we were built of Her dust originally.

But our souls are not from here at all.

They come from Above. And they will return to where they came from when we die. They will be sent heavenward, to the stars, above the planets where their intelligences were first organized.

One might wonder how Earth and her bodies can connect with Heaven and his spirits.

But they were never meant to be separated, though it may feel we are constantly at war between them- temporal versus spiritual, carnal versus righteous. And yet spirits who have passed on call the separation from their bodies “torture.” Why?

Because difference does not equal separation.

We are children with skin of soil and stone, minds of electricity, and hearts of Life’s blood. And we have souls of white light, endless heavens, and dancing violet stars.

Listen to me. You are a child of God.

You may feel terribly out of place in this world, like you do not belong. But He does not create differences as an excuse to cast someone off. No, He created differences so they can belong. He wants you the way you are.

We are meant to connect. This is my testimony, that we are not meant to be separate. I do not have to hide from being different, and no one else does, either. You belong here regardless of the color of your skin, where you were born, your religious background, what your family or relationship life looks like, or any labels this world has come up with.

You belong here on Mama Earth just as much as you do in one of Heavenly Father’s temples.

These words are very near and dear to my heart, and I hope you will treat them as sacredly as I do.

You belong! Come and belong! It’s wonderful here, I promise.

blissfully yours,

Emma

the good things

 “If you could give any advice to anyone, what would you give them?”

Look for the good things. That’s what I’d say.

I don’t know about y’all, but sometimes it feels like the world is only full of bad stuff. Ya know what I’m sayin’? Like that’s all people want to focus on. So that’s all we see. Even if we don’t realize that’s all we’re seeing.

And then we get on social media, which in addition to this negative focus, we get a false filter of artificial perfection. And we feel even more inadequate.

And with this view, life seems to be reaaally sucky.

But here’s my advice. And it is very simple.

Look for the good things.

Notice my advice isn’t “go to church” or “give up X things” or “start meditating” or whatever. Because that is all secondary.

My love, you cannot do any of that if you do not see the good.

Notice how soft your favorite blanket feels against your skin. Notice how happy that little kid in line behind you got when they got their ice cream. Notice the dew drops sticking to each blade of grass in the morning. Notice the smallest littlest things. There’s no limit, it can be one or one hundred.

And I won’t tell you what happens next. That’s all in your story, kid. You need to write that bit yourself.

And another thing: you can’t make anyone else see the good things in their lives.

Okay? And maybe you can’t see all the good things in their lives. Don’t try to write their stories, just write yours. See your good things.

Please. It’s so simple. Life is meant to be this simple.

That is my advice.

Hope you have a blessed Sunday :)

oxoxo,

blissfully yours,

Emma

try

 It would be easy to not do it.

Step out of my comfort zone, I mean.

It would be easy to refuse to be friends with people who are different from me. (And, let’s face it, that’s pretty much everyone.) It would be easy to push them all off completely.

But that’s not what God’s asked me to do.

He’s asked me to love them. Be their friend. Step outside of my comfort zone.

But then I have to be the perfect friend, right?

That’s what I thought. Everything seemed to point to that being true. And so I felt stuck. Inadequate. Anxious. A failure.

I couldn’t figure it out. God wanted so much of me- so where did His love fit in?

How did I know that my efforts were enough?

I thought long and hard about it, and took more than a few laps around our block on my scooter. And I thought of a talk given in sacrament meeting today.

The speaker had spoken of a study where women were asked to tell a picture of their younger selves that they were ugly. Stupid. Not good enough. All the things they freely told themselves, as adults. Many couldn’t do it.

I felt prompted to try it. So I stopped. And I imagined little five-year-old Emma standing in front of me. And I tried to tell her what I’d been telling myself.

“You’re a bad friend.”

“You’re not good enough.”

“You’re a failure.”

None of it felt right against her sweet little face.

“I can’t do it,” I thought.

“Why not?” I felt the Spirit ask me.

“Because,” I said. “She doesn’t deserve it. She’s just trying her best.”

“So why are you speaking that way to yourself?”

Whoa. Okay. That hit home.

Why was I speaking that way to myself?

Had I lost my worthiness of love in the 11 years between 5 and almost 16? Had I lost my Savior’s grace? Had I lost my ability to grow?

No. The answer is no to all of those.

I don’t deserve it. I’m just trying my best!

And while some part of me wants to argue that the Savior still requires a set level of righteousness, I know that there’s one thing He doesn’t require: perfection. He just wants me to try.

So, I don’t need to be the perfect friend, as long as I’m being the best friend Emma Kathryn Greenstreet can be. And ya know what? That’s not perfect.

Ya know what else? That’s okay.

Because all God wants is me.

So. Here I am.

oxoxo,

blissfully yours,

Emma

stars

 I’ve had a long day.

A long day of people. Talking to people. Interacting with people. Trying to understand people. Learning that I don’t always have to please people. It’s just a day in the life of an introvert- or, rather, a day in the life of Emma, who’s pretty different from your average introvert. Or, I’d like to hope so.

So, to recover my drained energy, I’ve stepped outside. I’ve peeled off my socks (although the Illinois air is quite chilly) and ventured barefoot out onto the cool grass of the backyard. I lie down on my back, looking up at the stars. Lauren Daigle’s Rescue plays through my earbuds. As I look at the twinkling stars up in the black sky, I recall singing this exact song with my best friend at a concert. The lights were dimmed, and we, along with many other people in the crowd, turned on our phone flashlights to act like twenty-first-century candles. We waved them in the air in time to the music. It was like looking out into a sea of stars- each star representing a different person. A different life. A different soul.

And I had cried then, feeling so strongly my Father’s love for me. He numbered all the stars in the sky, and yet He knew me exactly. And He would send out an army to save my soul.

Now, I smile as I look at the stars- these ones real. It’s nice to remember that He has a divine army for me- and it’s amazing to remember how much He loves me after such a long day. I can feel some healing balm spread across my heart as I take out my earbuds and just relish in the silence of the outdoors.

Which doesn’t last long.

I hear someone call out to me. Then footsteps.

I lift my head to see the shadow of my younger brother, Scott, come running up to me. I smile and greet him.

“Lie down next to me,” I instruct. “And look at the stars.”

He does as told, and we look up into the sky together.

“You’re looking up, right?” I say, voicing the thoughts that have just come to my brain. “Well, as you look into the stars, focus hard enough, and imagine you’re looking down. You’re dangling off the earth, and just looking into a black abyss.”

There’s a quietness as he concentrates, imagining, as I am, that we tiny little humans are just hanging off the earth, looking into the black infinity of the universe.

“Whoa,” he finally gasps.

I smile, continuing to focus on one star, watching as the rest of the world becomes dark around me.

“If you focus on one star, the rest of the world blacks out,” he exclaims excitedly, noticing it too.

“I thought I was the only one who noticed that.”

We lay there for a little bit, chatting and looking at the stars. I can feel my energy restore a little more- there with my brother, a boy whom I share both blood and eternity with. Just the two of us and the universe around us. And God’s love within all of it.

Finally I turn and press my forehead against his, and I tell him I love him. He gives me a kiss (his trademark for telling me he loves me), and then turns to run back to the house.

“Oi!” I call in a mock accent. “Let me kiss you too, mate!”

He comes back and lets me kiss his head. “Love you!” he calls as he runs off.

“Love you more!”

“Love you most-est!”

“Impossible,” I say to myself, smiling and looking back at the stars.

It’s funny- the stars, the grass, the shadows of the trees all around me- I’ve seen it before. On Pinterest. People in nature, claiming they have peace.

I thought the internet could give me that peace. Or other people. Or so many things.

Instead, a song, a boy, and a star gave it to me.

A small moment meant so much more than an infinity.

Because I was focusing on the whats. All the things. How could I buy the peace I was after?

Answer: you can’t.

Things can’t heal your mental health. People can’t feel the Spirit for you. The Internet can’t recreate God’s love (though, believe me, it will try). Only you can feel all that.

As another one of my favorite songs says, big love happens in the small moments. I’m the only one who can be the vessel for all those small moments. And God is the only one who can properly heal my soul.

We are made from the same intelligence as the stars. We came from where they still reside. And, like our starry sisters, we have one mission: to shine.

And stars do that!

But sometimes it’s hard to see.

Sometimes, thanks to light pollution, we can’t see their light in the night sky. Or sometimes, one brighter star blocks all of them off entirely.

But don’t let the world’s light stop you from shining. Someday, the sun will set. The moon will rise. And someone will be brave enough to venture where the city lights don’t shine.

And they will see you.

The universe is wide, my friend. If you feel a little dimmer today than usual- you are not broken. Experiences like mine are proof of that. The biggest spirit hides in the smallest moments. Look for them. Look up.

And shine.

oxoxo,

Emma

really seeing

 So. I have more thoughts. I’m writing them from this rock out in the front yard of my aunt and uncle’s house.

It’s a pretty great perch, if I may say so.

So first: (and I may add more thoughts as the day goes on) back to the people pleasing thing. I’m the kind of girl who will INSTANTLY answer a text message, or get so worried about liking everyone’s posts, or just be worried about what people think of me in general.

There’s nothing wrong with caring for others. There is a problem with caring about others- getting so wrapped up in what THEY think of us.

But can they see us?

Yes, you smart alecks, of course they can see us. (Unless they’re blind, of course.) But can they see us?

Do they know our lives, inside and out? Do they know our thoughts? Our intentions?

The answer is no, of course not.

Now, it is possible to really get to know someone. It is possible to see them a little clearer. In fact, that is what we are supposed to do. But we will never be another person.

So why are we worried about becoming someone we’re not?

Be you. You can see everyone, but you can only be one person.

And the same goes reversed. We can’t really see or be everyone. So why are we judging them? Why are we labeling them?

Labels are one of my least favorite things in the history of the world- when it comes to people, at least. A person is not their interests. A person is not their hair color. A person is not their body type. A person is not the jeans they’re wearing, or the brand of those jeans. They are a child of God.

Can you see that?

I challenge you to see…see others, see yourself, and see the world as divine- the way God wants us to see things.

It won’t be perfect. But we’re mortal, so our vision isn’t exactly perfect.

But God loves it when we try.

oxoxo,

Emma

you do not need to be perfect!

 Hi, there!

I was reading back at my last blog post and, oh my word, I apologize for all of you who read through that. I’m very grateful if you DID, but still. That was depressing even for me to read. But, they were my feelings, and they’re therefore valid.

I’m currently writing this from riding in our car as we drive through Ohio. (I CAN BLOG POST FROM MY PHONE! MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS CHANGED!) And, as you may have seen in my Instagram stories, road trips give me a place to think a lot about…everything. And if you know me well, you know it’s difficult for me to authentically explain my thoughts and emotions. But I seem to do a good job once I try, so here goes:

I’m what you could call a “people pleaser”. (I took a personality quiz online, and I got what one calls an “Obliger”, so if you know anything about that, yeah, that’s what I am.) I care a lot about what people think of me. And I worry a lot about other people’s choices- because, for some reason, I think I’ll be affected by their consequences. (No. It’s their choice, so they’re punished for it. I’m only punished for my choices. Please see Article of Faith #2 :) ) So it’s very easy for me to become caught up in the worry if I’m “doing it right”. I know my standards, and I know my limits- but peer pressure’s tactics can be very cunning indeed. “Am I too close to the limit?” I wonder, as I forget the limits I set for myself in the first place. “Maybe I don’t need to worry about it…they like me like this, anyway.”

And thus, my view becomes fractured, and I become more worried about being of the world, rather than just in it.

Of course, this is exactly what the hosts of Hell desire.

They laugh happily as soon as I start to sink into confusion. They taunt me from their great and spacious building, saying all things are too confusing for me to ever learn.

But Jesus carries a different message.

You see, His power is the only thing that pulls me out of this mental fog. His voice is the only voice that can give me divine truth. He says that I can learn- just over the course of time. Line upon line. Precept upon precept. Here a little and there a little.

And He can do the same for you, too.

Listen to me. Your mental battles may be different from mine. Your voices may yell different things than mine. But His extended hand remains the same. His power to help you through all things remains the same. The world changes constantly, but He never will.

He says that perfection is a process. He says that the line still stands. He says we can walk it, and by doing so we can become like Him.

Nothing to me could ever matter more.

So, I shall continue to learn! Life is an adventure, and every day is a new lesson.

Thanks for being along on the adventure with me. Your presence and love means more than you could ever know. :]

Thanks for reading,

oxoxo,

Emma

this post is going to be my emotions throwing up on the page

 Isn’t it amazing how many colors can be added to the canvas that is your life in just a few days?

So many lessons, so many blurs, so many everythings, so much being pulled in so many different directions-

Wanting to be one thing, but feeling as if you’ll never get there-

I feel like everyone feels like they know me. And then I pull back another layer and bam, there’s a part of Emma we didn’t know.

But what if I’m faking it?

I spent so much of my life doing just that. And I don’t know how to tell whether I like something or it’s just my stupid brain being influenced.

I like so many things. I am so many things. And I just want to be the soft girl, the wholesome quiet girl, the girl who can help people, touch people, and is so, so loving. The girl who has perfect faith. The girl who God can 100% count on all the time.

But I’m loud. I’m brash. I yell or snap in anger sometimes. I can be harsh and maybe even a little violent to some people’s standards. I suck at social cues. I hate labels. And yet so much of my problems come from them. (Probably why I hate them.) I just want to live my life! I want to know it’s mine. I want God to be able to count on me, even when I’m skipping in so many different directions.

I just don’t wanna screw up.

Listen, I know I’m being emotional and vulnerable right now. And I’m okay with that. But I also wanna be positive, y’know? I want to be the one who happily tells you good morning and who loves life and like posts stuff that inspire people. Or whatever.

And, yeah, I know people who post positive things aren’t happy all the time. Sometimes they, like me, just feel like their lives suck.

I don’t know. The only idea I’m having is to keep going, but where? I don’t even know how many people will see this, and man, that hurts me. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s better, so my feelings don’t have to be strewn all across the worlds of your brains and cause a sticky, dark mess.

If my life looks like everyone else’s, then I did it wrong. Because then I copied and I’m a faker and don’t really like things for me.

But if it’s entirely different? Well, that’s territory I don’t know how to navigate.

Maybe there’s a happy medium?

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

I don’t even know how to end this blog post. Usually I do this and then I figure out my emotions and it ends on a positive note that teaches y’all something. But that’s not happening as of right now. I don’t really know what I’m doing.

I just don’t wanna be a faker, okay?

I wanna feel...like, actually welcomed. No conditions. No sudden surprises of personality change. No faking. Just...love.

And I have that in Jesus.

But I can’t hear Him. I can’t touch Him. I can’t, uh, hang out with Him.

I mean I kinda can? But you know what I mean.

Faith’s hard sometimes. Maybe this is what makes it worth it?

Hah, I’m like smiling at myself because I was just talking to my friends about having more faith yesterday...and now here I am.

My trials pale in comparison to a lot of people I know. But they still hurt, and I hope they’re still valid.

You know what? I think imma end this here. I hope this helped me release some emotions in some way. Hopefully there’ll be a more positive follow-up post where I talk about what I learned from all this.

If you’re here...thank you for reading this. Your presence and support means more than you could ever know.

-emma