What makes you happy?
It’s such a simple question, isn’t it? And yet it is a question that’s so easy to get hung up on.
I believe part of the reason is because the world’s definition of happiness is so skewed. Happiness in the world’s eyes comes from a plethora of material things: social media posts, clothes, expensive trips, cars, jewelry, concerts- the list goes on and on.
With all of these tempting voices vying for our attention, it’s very easy to feel lost in darkness. I certainly felt this way as I struggled to keep up my Come, Follow Me study this week.
I have a goal to start sharing the gospel more, and I thought that this blog would be a really great way to do so. But, as you saw from my post TWO MONTHS AGO- I haven’t been the greatest at keeping up that goal.
And so, as I thought again and again about what I wanted to share here, I felt increasingly nervous and inadequate. Would my words be good enough? Powerful enough? Would I really seem like a missionary, or just an inexperienced writer?
Funny, how in my very moment of worrying, I became a living testament of what I’ve learned this week in my scripture study.
I’ve tried leaning on worldly things for comfort. My 70+ playlists on Spotify will tell you that. I’ve listened to as many songs as I can, scrolled through social media for an embarrassing number of hours, and browsed through many different “self-help” books, videos, and posts. None of them give me lasting relief. In fact, oftentimes I feel more discouraged and drained after looking at these things!
But you know what does offer me relief?
The scriptures.
I can’t count how many times I was swallowed up in demotivation, depression, and overall yucky feelings that threatened to keep me from doing anything at all- and then I offered a silent prayer. I picked up my scriptures. And I could feel all that yuckiness melt away. It was like an opening had burst inside me, and I was pumping bright power into my soul.
Sometimes that power was strong enough that it would make me cry. Other times, it’s so small that I don’t notice it at first- or at all. But it’s real, and it’s definitely there.
In my studies of the Psalms this week, I’ve learned a lot about my Savior, His grace, and come to realize that He’s touched me more in small ways than I could see originally.
King David, in one of the many Psalms he wrote, summed up this “smaller” feeling of the Spirit beautifully: “thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindnesses” (Psalm 25:6).
Perhaps you have heard the phrase “tender mercy” before, or perhaps you haven’t. Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles summed it up this way:
“...I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ.” (David A. Bednar, “The Tender Mercies of the Lord, April 2005 General Conference)
I love Elder Bednar’s definition of tender mercies, because nowhere in there does it say a “tender mercy” must be big and dramatic to be valid. No. Blessings, strength, and spiritual gifts- among the many other things Elder Bednar listed- can come in all shapes and sizes.
A tender mercy can be as simple as a quiet moment to say your morning prayer before your little brother barges into your room. Or it could be a friend texting you right after you had a long day. Or a little baby smiling at you for seemingly no reason at all. Tender mercies can be small, but they hold so much of Christ’s love in them.
When I think of tender mercies, I think of my experience at Girls’ Camp this year. I was a YCL (Youth Camp Leader) for the youngest group of girls at the camp. I, along with my other YCLs, arrived at camp a day early and worked tirelessly building tents (or, attempting to build tents), setting up camp, planning devotionals, and laughing with each other as we eagerly learned our girls’ names and prepared to meet them.
Meeting my girls was indeed exciting, and leading them through the activities and teaching them new things filled me with incredible joy.
Nevertheless, our job as YCLs was hard. We had multiple curveballs thrown at us right off the bat, from changing the schedules to fit with the unbearably hot weather more, to making sure our rambunctious eleven-year-olds didn’t wander off (and finding them when they did), to keeping each other sane throughout the whole process. We even had to deal with ending camp a day early due to a nasty thunderstorm. I collapsed like a dead person every night- later than everyone else, of course, so we could attempt to plan the next day.
In the past, I’d looked forward to going to girls’ camp for spiritual experiences. My friends make fun of me because I am notorious for crying like a baby at every single testimony meeting. However, at this year’s testimony meeting, I didn’t cry as hard as I did in past years. I felt the Spirit very strongly, yes, but it was different. I felt confused and a little discouraged, wondering if I’d done something wrong.
This week’s study in Come, Follow Me, however, changed my perspective. I realized I’d been so focused on the big spiritual experiences I could have had at girls’ camp that I missed the small ones.
I missed how peaceful it was when I awoke to the sun the first morning and saw the fog rising up over the field we were camping in.
I missed the overwhelming love I felt for my girls as I learned their names the night before they arrived- and how I felt it again as I bore my testimony to them the final night.
I missed the wonder I felt as my bishop from my old ward gave us a devotional about the majesty of the universe and God’s creations.
I missed how miraculous it was that me and my two friends could stay energetic enough to power through our three busy days of YCLing.
I missed the sweet assurance as I went to bed each night, knowing that even if I was so tired it was hard to feel the Spirit, I was doing the work of the Lord.
Friends, it is so easy to get into the mindset of missing Jesus Christ, when He’s been in the equation all along! We must not miss how His grace is always there to help us, how He is there to hug us and be our friend, how His truth can be found if we will simply turn unto Him.
It’s this truth that keeps me going, even when the world is so chaotic all around me. I know all I need to do is turn unto Christ, and He will come unto me. It may not be in a big, noticeable way, but I know His tender mercies are always there.
As King David said in Psalm 27 verse 1, “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”
The Lord is on our side! We can always turn unto Him! I promise that He will always reach out to us, even if we “walk through the valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4). He is our shepherd and our light.
-Emma
EDIT OF THE EDIT: I'm not sure why there was a link here instead of on Tuesday's post. Oh well😅
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