come, follow me part four: He loves you infinitely.

 I usually dawdle when it comes to sitting down and typing up these blog posts, but today I found myself incredibly excited to pull out my laptop and pour my thoughts onto the page. Today was an incredibly spiritual Sunday- and it isn’t even over yet! My meetings in Young Women’s were filled with more spirit than I anticipated. Honestly, I was a bit taken aback today as emotion overcame me multiple times, to the point that I couldn’t speak without crying. Why? What occurred today that brought me to tears?

The answer lies in something that happened today, and yesterday, and every day for the past year and all the years prior. It lies within something that will continue to happen every day for the rest of eternity, until this planet has reached its potential and another one is born.

What is this miraculous event?

Something wonderful.

I’ll explain, don’t worry.

To start, let me delve into the scriptures. I believe they are the source of all truth, and without them my words don’t mean quite as much. We studied from the book of Isaiah in Come, Follow Me this week, and there are a few verses from chapter 1 that touch on what we learned in Young Women’s today:

16 ¶ Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil;

17 Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.

 

Then verse 18 begins in somewhat the same way, still admonishing us to improve: “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord.” But the way it ends is incredibly important, and is most likely better known among you: “though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

 

This reminds us of the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and how we cannot go without it. Jesus is the only one who can help us improve. He asks us to be better…but He is also willing to help us be better.

 

This is what brought me to tears today in Young Women’s. It is what gives me joy on my darkest days. It is the reason we are all able to be here, training to become gods and goddesses: it is the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

 

I want to share part of what I shared during the YW lesson today, since I believe “what the Lord says unto one He says unto all”- or, at least, there are other people who will read this that could benefit from my words:

 

“We can- and often do- create a standard in our heads, saying, ‘oh, now God will not want me’ or ‘I’ve messed up too many times- what’s the point in trying again? I can’t trust myself, so how could God trust me?’ or ‘this is too embarrassing- I can’t confess this!’ All of these are the biggest lies Satan can tell us. We are never too far gone. God is waiting with open arms for us to come back- every single time we fail. Over and over again.”

 

I firmly believe deep in my soul- no, I know- that these words are true. I’ll say it again: we are never too far gone!

 

Satan is a LIAR, my friends. A huge liar. He has been confined to an eternity of misery- he will never get to live in a body of flesh and blood, or feel the Spirit, or embark on a wonderful journey to become like God. So, all he wants is for us- people who get what he will never have- to feel as miserable as he does.

 

He will lie and tell you you’re alone. That you’ll remain in darkness forever. That there’s no way out of this pit of misery, so why don’t you just give up? Life can’t be worth living if you feel all this pain.

 

It’s easy to believe his lies, especially when we’re already sickened by the weight of sin, or by trials that come abundantly in this fallen world. We trek farther into the darkness, believing we are worthless, when really Satan is actively wrapping us up in his thread of lies. Before we know it, we are in chains.

 

But Satan is no match for the Chain Breaker- Jesus Christ. Liars cannot tell the truth. There is no darkness, no pain, no sin, that can keep you from the loving, open arms of our Savior and Redeemer. There is no pit that is too deep- He will always be able to pull you out. There are no chains fastened too tightly- He will break every one. There is no pain too heavy- He will take it all on His shoulders, and bear it with unmatched strength.

 

Today in sacrament meeting, someone quoted the beautiful poem “Footprints in the Sand”. It touched me and all my sisters in YW deeply, for it really struck the spirit that had penetrated our hearts. I will share it here, so that you all may read it and feel what I cannot adequately express in my own writing:

 

One night I dreamed a dream.

As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.

For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,

One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

 

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,

especially at the very lowest and saddest times,

there was only one set of footprints.

 

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,

You'd walk with me all the way.

But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,

there was only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

 

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you

Never, ever, during your trials and testings.

When you saw only one set of footprints,

It was then that I carried you."

 

I have a testimony that these words are true. The Lord will never leave us forsaken. Even if you can’t feel Him during your darkest hours, He is there. He is holding you closely in His arms, just letting you be. Just because you can’t feel Him doesn’t mean He will forget about you. He will be there no matter what.

 

I hope I can adequately express through my written words how much the Lord loves you. He will fix all that is broken, even when you cannot physically reach it yourself. He cares about the battles raging within you, the ones that no one can see but are tearing you apart. He sees it vividly. He wants to hold you close. He wants to love you. He will speak to you in a way that only you will truly understand. He cares about you even if you feel your words don’t do Him justice. Repentance is not a scary thing reserved only for the wickedest people…it is the bright, divine pathway back to Jesus’s loving arms. Follow it! He is waiting! I promise.

Just as it says in the beloved hymn, "I Stand All Amazed", "Oh, it is wonderful that He should care for me, enough to die for me! Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!" (Hymns, 193) The Atonement of Jesus Christ truly is, as I said at the beginning, wonderful.

 

I hope you know that I am here for you in any way I can be- and when I cannot be physically or emotionally there, He will always be there. I hope you can feel His endless love today, that you can feel clean, and loved, and beloved. You are royalty. You deserve to be treated as such.

 

If you need prayers, let me know. I will pray for you. God be with you till we meet- or, until you read my next blog post- again!

-Emma

come, follow me part three: records full of friends

 Happy September!

I completely forgot the month had changed as I recorded the date of this post…this summer has flown by. Here’s to another school year, though!

My mind has wandered to many places as I’ve considered what to share with you all this week- and you have rested very prominently in my thoughts. I’m a bit cautious when it comes to sharing, as I try to differentiate between what is too personal for me to share and what is all right. Sometimes I feel it necessary to be brave and take a leap, other times I feel I should hold my tongue. Nevertheless, what I share here is what I want you to hear, and I hope you will feel my love as I do so. Expect this post to be rather long and all over the place!

To set the scene, I’d like you to direct your thoughts to your favorite fictional story. It doesn’t have to be a book (I’m a writer, so I’m a bit partial to the literary genre, but I digress), it can be a movie or a TV show, even. Just make sure you have it in mind.

For me, something I’ve noticed in the best stories is there is some kind of quest. A reason to obtain something, whether that “thing” is material or hypothetical. The drive to find this “thing” (I need a better word) generally leads to the main characters embarking on an adventure, the most entertaining ones being those with countless twists and turns.

We, like our favorite characters, are on a quest, my friend. A quest to seek out the greatest treasure of all: eternal life! And the adventure we embark on certainly has its array of twists and turns, for the adventure is our mortal life.

But something else to keep in mind is that fictional characters never embark on a quest alone. The best stories give the main character a mentor, someone who has seen the road they are traveling on before, and knows all the twists and turns up ahead. They know what the main character needs to do. They can act as a comfort to the main character, but also give them important counsel when necessary.

Have we got mentors like this in our lives, too? Yes. As I read verses from the Book of Proverbs this week, I couldn’t help but feel touched, as the tone the verses were written in felt very personal…like it was loving counsel from a mentor of my own. Someone who knew the road I was on, and knew what I needed to do. Those verses acted as a comfort to me, just as mentors do to book and movie characters- but they also gave me counsel right when I needed it.

I felt my testimony of the scriptures grow as I read in Proverbs. My father likes to remind me that the scriptures really must be likened unto our lives for us to truly gain a testimony of them. As I found voices like that of mentors and friends in the scriptures, I felt them become more personal to me. I felt more than just power filling my soul, I felt like I had advice from people who really knew what I was going through. I felt at home.

This feeling really gave me so much joy…and I want you all to feel that same joy. But let me tell you right now: we do not obtain this joy by just thinking “oh, that sounds nice” but doing nothing! We must work to put ourselves in the scriptures, and hear the words these mentors crying from the dust have for us. We cannot receive what we don’t hear.

Think of the painting of the Savior knocking at the door: the doorknob is only on our side of the door. He can’t open it Himself. We have to let Him in.

Today in Sunday School, my teacher pointed out something to us that I found incredibly interesting. We read in Proverbs chapter 1 verse 7, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” The word “wisdom” in Hebrew is Hokhmah, a word more closely related to “skill”. Thus, wisdom is more than just knowing things, it is putting what we know into action.

That relates heavily to what I said before: that while the scriptures are full of messages from dear friends and mentors who have long passed, we cannot receive these messages unless we read the scriptures ourselves. It takes effort on our part! But I speak from experience when I say it’s worth it. I have read my scriptures in the most inconvenient of places: in a hotel room where I’m staying with other people, in the hallway during a dance while music is blasting, in the car, on a train- anywhere. There have been times where I really don’t want to put myself in the scriptures because, like I said before- it’s inconvenient! But I have never regretted taking just a few moments to read and let that divine power pump into my soul.

My dear friends, as we continue on our quest back to our Heavenly Father, and to become gods and goddesses together, let us remember that we are not alone. We have Jesus Christ and His prophets- both living and dead- to give us counsel and comfort. And may we always remember that, if we feel lost or forsaken, we have the Word of God to act as our roadmap. It is the “iron rod”, as Lehi saw in his vision of the Tree of Life. No matter where you are or where you’ve been, you can turn back to the scriptures and find your way home.

I leave you with two verses from Proverbs chapter 4:

Verse 18: “But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.”

Verse 25: “Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.”

Let the message of these verses wash over you. Look up, and look forward! The path you are on is a “shining light”. This world can feel dark, despairing, and lonesome, but if we keep moving forward and immerse ourselves in God’s word, we will never be walking alone.

That is what has brought me joy this week. I hope you will join me in studying the scriptures this week, so that you might also be able to partake of this joy.

To close, here is a quotation that was shared with me in Sunday School last year, and has touched me deeply as I’ve considered scripture study + wisdom this week:

-Emma

come, follow me part two: the good news!

 Is this post late? Yes, extremely. But it’s going up because I feel that no matter what I have to share, even if it isn’t very eloquent, is what you all need to hear.

I’m pretty new to this whole “sharing the gospel” thing. It sounds a little daunting- at least to me. When I adopted the goal to share my thoughts weekly, I was overwhelmed with images of missionaries dressed in church clothes, me smiling and expertly teaching a lesson fit for Sunday School, and scriptures that have been perfectly annotated and marked, like I am some sort of scripture scholar.

If I’m being honest, I couldn’t see myself in any of those scenarios.

Because I do believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I study His scriptures. I teach when I can. But it felt to me like all of this didn’t fit the stereotype of a girl sharing the gospel. I was imagining a perfect teacher, and then there was me with just a notebook full of silly little thoughts. Surely that wasn’t what God intended me to share, right?

Suffice it to say, I’ve spent a lot of time staring blankly into space, wondering how on Earth I could share the gospel in a format that would touch people. So, I have a blog. Okay, what do I do with that? My strange, vivid thoughts and interpretations of the scriptures couldn’t possibly help anyone, could they?

Yesterday, my perspective changed.

It was Sunday- the day of rest, the day of the Lord. I was cleaning the kitchen and listening to the hymn “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing”. The arrangement I was listening to (I’ll link it at the end) especially feels joyous to me, and helps me praise my Savior in such a sacred way. I felt happy as I reflected on my Savior- “incarnate Deity” and yet my loving Friend (words in quotes are copied from the hymn). I wished that everyone could feel the joy I felt as I praised Him, and know Him as I do.

That’s when it hit me- that is what I am meant to share.

In all my worrying about not sharing the Gospel correctly, I had forgotten what the Gospel of Jesus Christ is. The word “gospel” can actually translate into a word that means “good news”.

And what is the good news? That Jesus Christ lives! He is our Savior and our Redeemer! He is alive and real, He has the power to move mountains, and He can move the mountains within us.

And not only that- because He is real, we have someone to talk to whenever we have a hard day, or a good day, or a day that just kind of feels meh. And He will listen to us as we talk to Him, better than anyone else on this earth can.

Because Jesus Christ suffered for all of our sins, pains, and afflictions in the Garden of Gethsemane, He knows exactly what we are going through at any given time on an individual level. If you are stressed out over a test, He feels that. If you’re so sick you can’t get out of bed, He feels that. If you don’t know how on Earth you could believe any of these things I’m typing are true- guess what?- He feels that, too.

Isn’t that incredible?

This is the best news I could ever share. As I draw closer to Jesus Christ, I feel happier than I do anywhere else.

Some may say that the standards I follow are “restricting” or “weird” or “confusing”, but to me they are the exact opposite. Those standards are what keep me with my Savior! Those standards open me up to the endless blessings He is pouring down. In the very same moment I am doubting my worth as I stand in the House of God, it all melts away as I act in faith- choosing to read my scriptures, or choosing to do a little more family history work, or simply choosing to be still. The truth of the matter is, we always belong in the arms of our loving Older Brother, no matter who we are. Satan is the one who will tell you that you aren’t welcome here. I promise you, you are welcome.

So, I am not a perfect “scripture scholar”. I’m certainly not your ideal missionary. I’m just a girl with a blog and a whole lot of joy in her heart- and that’s okay.

God might be perfect, and His gospel might be perfect, but people aren’t. People mess up on a daily basis. He isn’t oblivious to that fact. He just wants us to try again- and again, and again.

This is how I share the gospel of Jesus Christ. I share what brings me joy! Following Jesus and living as He would have me live brings me so much joy, and I want everyone to feel that joyful as well.

So. Here’s to being courageous, and here’s to many more of these posts to come!

Blissfully yours,

-Emma

EDIT: The link to the arrangement of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" I mentioned won't come into the blog post in a way that will work! I will share it with those I know personally if you desire to hear it :)

thankful tuesday: reflections + a trade

 Is it possible to be thankful for our trials?

It’s a thought that stirred up within me during my makeshift scripture study today. I’ve packed away all my journals and my big paper scriptures, so my study comes from whatever I can pull up on my phone. It’s different, yes, but I am so grateful I have the Gospel Library app that gives me access to all the books of scripture and other gospel-related media at my fingertips.

As I prayed before I began my study, I felt the Spirit swell up within me, filling me with gratitude for these divinely appointed resources. You see, I am a creature of routine, better known as a girl with Asperger’s Syndrome. While this diagnosis certainly isn’t my excuse for my trials, it does make things like switching up my usual routine difficult- my brain literally struggles to comprehend change. But, as I allow myself to experiment with change, the peace I feel is overwhelming. I’ve been finding such joy in finding new, unfamiliar ways to partake of the Spirit, such as podcasts, videos, and blog posts- like this one I’m typing up now!

During my new study, I watched a video that I will link at the end of this post, an older “Mormon Message” from the 2010s. (Remember when they were still called those? I still call them that in my head.) The video I watched was titled “My New Life,” and told the story of a woman named Stephanie Nielsen who was a survivor of a horrific plane crash that left her scarred- physically and emotionally- yet miraculously alive. While she did acknowledge how difficult everything had been during and post-recovery, she said at one point that she was grateful for her trials.

What? I was left in awe. How much faith this woman had to have, to say she was thankful for such a terrible trial! I was left with joy filling my soul, as her gratitude was infectious.

It also got me thinking, propelling my mind toward a change in perspective. If Sister Nielsen could be so grateful throughout her trial of a plane crash and everything that came after it…how much did I have to be grateful for, when all I’m doing is moving to another house?

Oh, wow, you guys. I have so much to be grateful for.

I have a house to move into! And it’s in the same ward area that I love so much!

I have a house to stay in now! And a bed to sleep in!

I have THINGS to pack- imagine, I could have nothing!

I have a family that loves me, and whom I am learning to love!

I have the sun! And brighter, cooler days! I have grass under my bare feet and sweet scents to breathe in!

And there is so much more I haven’t listed here. What a blessing!

Gratitude is spoken of in the Scriptures I read this morning. In Psalm 49 verses 6-7 we read: “They that trust in their wealth, and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches; None of them can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him.” I interpreted this to warn against setting our hearts upon wealth and the things of this world. I’ve set my heart upon the things of this world before, and I’ve just felt muddled, confused, and yucky. But turning my heart heavenward, and seeing how much I have to be grateful for fills me with clarity and joy.

Thanksgiving is a joyous thing. No, not the holiday, but the attitude. Thanksgiving is sweeter than pumpkin and brighter than sunlight. I have a testimony of it, and I’m so grateful I’ve spent the time reflecting on it here and sharing it with all of you.

I hope you will join me on this Thankful Tuesday- something I’ve come up with for the first time today!- and reflect on what you are thankful for. Make a list. Let it fill up your heart and cause you to smile. See the sunlight, or the rain if it isn’t sunny where you are, and know that better days are coming. Today might not have been a good day, but there can still be good somewhere in it.

To close, I’d like to offer a memory of my experience I had this morning, that I will offer as a trade for any bad memories you might have.

Any bad memory, you can let it go. I offer you this one instead:

It has been an unusually cool morning- in the 60s rather than the humid 70s or 80s. Though I start off later than I would have liked, I take a walk. I could see how foggy it had been all morning, the mist casting an early-morning haze across my suburban neighborhood.

And yet, Nature is alive. Can’t you see? See the clouds, so fluffy and white. See the blue sky, just barely making wisps of visible azure hues. See the dew hanging onto the grass, the ivy over a neighbor’s mailbox, the flowers growing in the shade of a house.

And then-

We round the corner. All along the sidewalk and the road that separates us from more houses, the sun is finally making its appearance. As its golden rays shine, the fog melts away, and suddenly the world has gone from mysterious, cool early morning, to bright, exuberant noonday. Everything is exciting and warm and the air thrums with a million possibilities.

Can you see it?

There, you have made the trade. You can go back to that bad memory anytime you like, but you do not need to let it weigh on your chest. Feel the warmth of the sun, see the golden light.

I offer you this because this morning made me very grateful, and people’s encouragement through writing also buoys me up. I hope I can do the same for you.

Thank you for reading! Have a blessed day!

oxoxo,

Blissfully yours,

-Emma

EDIT: I forgot to add the link to the video I mentioned!! I don't know if it will work, but here it is:

My New Life (churchofjesuschrist.org)

come, follow me, part one: tender mercies

 What makes you happy?

It’s such a simple question, isn’t it? And yet it is a question that’s so easy to get hung up on.

I believe part of the reason is because the world’s definition of happiness is so skewed. Happiness in the world’s eyes comes from a plethora of material things: social media posts, clothes, expensive trips, cars, jewelry, concerts- the list goes on and on.

With all of these tempting voices vying for our attention, it’s very easy to feel lost in darkness. I certainly felt this way as I struggled to keep up my Come, Follow Me study this week.

I have a goal to start sharing the gospel more, and I thought that this blog would be a really great way to do so. But, as you saw from my post TWO MONTHS AGO- I haven’t been the greatest at keeping up that goal.

And so, as I thought again and again about what I wanted to share here, I felt increasingly nervous and inadequate. Would my words be good enough? Powerful enough? Would I really seem like a missionary, or just an inexperienced writer?

Funny, how in my very moment of worrying, I became a living testament of what I’ve learned this week in my scripture study.

I’ve tried leaning on worldly things for comfort. My 70+ playlists on Spotify will tell you that. I’ve listened to as many songs as I can, scrolled through social media for an embarrassing number of hours, and browsed through many different “self-help” books, videos, and posts. None of them give me lasting relief. In fact, oftentimes I feel more discouraged and drained after looking at these things!

But you know what does offer me relief?

The scriptures.

I can’t count how many times I was swallowed up in demotivation, depression, and overall yucky feelings that threatened to keep me from doing anything at all- and then I offered a silent prayer. I picked up my scriptures. And I could feel all that yuckiness melt away. It was like an opening had burst inside me, and I was pumping bright power into my soul.

Sometimes that power was strong enough that it would make me cry. Other times, it’s so small that I don’t notice it at first- or at all. But it’s real, and it’s definitely there.

In my studies of the Psalms this week, I’ve learned a lot about my Savior, His grace, and come to realize that He’s touched me more in small ways than I could see originally.

King David, in one of the many Psalms he wrote, summed up this “smaller” feeling of the Spirit beautifully: “thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindnesses” (Psalm 25:6).

Perhaps you have heard the phrase “tender mercy” before, or perhaps you haven’t. Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles summed it up this way:

“...I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ.” (David A. Bednar, “The Tender Mercies of the Lord, April 2005 General Conference)

I love Elder Bednar’s definition of tender mercies, because nowhere in there does it say a “tender mercy” must be big and dramatic to be valid. No. Blessings, strength, and spiritual gifts- among the many other things Elder Bednar listed- can come in all shapes and sizes.

A tender mercy can be as simple as a quiet moment to say your morning prayer before your little brother barges into your room. Or it could be a friend texting you right after you had a long day. Or a little baby smiling at you for seemingly no reason at all. Tender mercies can be small, but they hold so much of Christ’s love in them.

When I think of tender mercies, I think of my experience at Girls’ Camp this year. I was a YCL (Youth Camp Leader) for the youngest group of girls at the camp. I, along with my other YCLs, arrived at camp a day early and worked tirelessly building tents (or, attempting to build tents), setting up camp, planning devotionals, and laughing with each other as we eagerly learned our girls’ names and prepared to meet them.

Meeting my girls was indeed exciting, and leading them through the activities and teaching them new things filled me with incredible joy.

Nevertheless, our job as YCLs was hard. We had multiple curveballs thrown at us right off the bat, from changing the schedules to fit with the unbearably hot weather more, to making sure our rambunctious eleven-year-olds didn’t wander off (and finding them when they did), to keeping each other sane throughout the whole process. We even had to deal with ending camp a day early due to a nasty thunderstorm. I collapsed like a dead person every night- later than everyone else, of course, so we could attempt to plan the next day.

In the past, I’d looked forward to going to girls’ camp for spiritual experiences. My friends make fun of me because I am notorious for crying like a baby at every single testimony meeting. However, at this year’s testimony meeting, I didn’t cry as hard as I did in past years. I felt the Spirit very strongly, yes, but it was different. I felt confused and a little discouraged, wondering if I’d done something wrong.

This week’s study in Come, Follow Me, however, changed my perspective. I realized I’d been so focused on the big spiritual experiences I could have had at girls’ camp that I missed the small ones.

I missed how peaceful it was when I awoke to the sun the first morning and saw the fog rising up over the field we were camping in.

I missed the overwhelming love I felt for my girls as I learned their names the night before they arrived- and how I felt it again as I bore my testimony to them the final night.

I missed the wonder I felt as my bishop from my old ward gave us a devotional about the majesty of the universe and God’s creations.

I missed how miraculous it was that me and my two friends could stay energetic enough to power through our three busy days of YCLing.

I missed the sweet assurance as I went to bed each night, knowing that even if I was so tired it was hard to feel the Spirit, I was doing the work of the Lord.

Friends, it is so easy to get into the mindset of missing Jesus Christ, when He’s been in the equation all along! We must not miss how His grace is always there to help us, how He is there to hug us and be our friend, how His truth can be found if we will simply turn unto Him.

It’s this truth that keeps me going, even when the world is so chaotic all around me. I know all I need to do is turn unto Christ, and He will come unto me. It may not be in a big, noticeable way, but I know His tender mercies are always there.

As King David said in Psalm 27 verse 1, “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

The Lord is on our side! We can always turn unto Him! I promise that He will always reach out to us, even if we “walk through the valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4). He is our shepherd and our light.

-Emma

EDIT OF THE EDIT: I'm not sure why there was a link here instead of on Tuesday's post. Oh well😅